Nicole Scherzinger opens up about bulimia struggle and boyfriend Lewis Hamilton

JAMES WHITE/COSMOPOLITAN

And now, even if she admitted that she still finds it difficult to talk about it, Scherzinger once again opens up about this issue she had to go through in her 20s in a new interview with the August issue of the British edition of Cosmopolitan.

“It is such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me,” the 36-year-old singer says.

“I didn’t think anyone knew in my group or in my family because I hid it that well, I was so ashamed. I knew it wasn’t normal or healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating. It was my drug, my addiction. It’s an endless vicious cycle,” she adds.

Scherzinger admitted that her life was not what it seemed, and at some point she realized she needed help.

“I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world, but I was miserable on the inside,” she reveals. “I’m never letting that happen again,”

“I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France.I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself’ … I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life — I was 27 only once,” she says.

JAMES WHITE/COSMOPOLITAN

The former X Factor judge, who started dating Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton in 2007, also discusses her romance with the British racer.

“Well it’s something crazy romantic,” she says. “Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder. It’s kudos to us for growing and trying – there’s so much love there.”

“But I’m good and I’m happy,” the singer adds.

For more about Nicole Scherzinger visit Cosmopolitan magazine.