Jennifer Lopez explained her choking up after announcing Idol contestant Chris Medina of his departure from the show.
On Thursday Lopez told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show that she was just being herself.
“This is all new to me,” she said. “I’m used to having a script in a movie, or a big performance with a cane and a microphone, and I have all kinds of stuff going on … You’re [not always] getting me.”
“This is the first experience … where I feel like people are getting to know who I am as a person,” she continued. “It’s such a vulnerable place to be.”
The singer and actress was the one that had to break down the news to Medina and she said she found it very disturbing especially as she didn’t have time to prepare for the task.
“As we were going down the list, I didn’t realize I had to tell him,” she said. “All of the sudden it was my turn and I was like, ‘Oh gosh, how am I going to say this?’ At the end of the day we had to do our job, which was to pick the top 12 guys and he wasn’t in it. And that was tough to do because you had grown to have so much respect for him as a person.”
Lopez added, “I didn’t break down when he was there necessarily, I did it afterwards after he left. It really hit me. I just couldn’t believe I had to deliver this news to this person who I felt had been through a lot, and is going through a lot, and I felt like I didn’t do it well enough for him.”
And while Jennifer broke down in tears, Chris Medina managed to keep calm and thank the judges before leaving.
“He handled it with such dignity and so much class, and that made it worse for me,” Lopez said. “I was like ‘Oh, he’s so awesome, I respect this person so much.’ ”